| | So church...yeah.
Maybe this week just wasn't a good week for it. I'll try again next week. I'll probably even give it 2 or 3 tries after that, if I still don't like it.
My problem is, I suppose, that I can rarely find a pastor (minister, chaplain, priest, lecturer, etc.) that I actually enjoy and/or agree with. I don't even necessarily have to agree with them, I just want to feel that i would be able to have an open discussion with them without being called names, chastized, or any of the other things that drove me and so many others from church in the first place. Going to a church building is simply unnecessary. Being a part of the Church, as a whole, means being a bride of Christ. It means loving Christ as He loves the Church (the people), and loving the people as the same. It means reaching out in discipleship and fellowship. Both of these can be found without church, and church can readily be found without discipleship and fellowship. I felt both those ideas most everywhere but in the actual sermon. Little annoyances like Boston saying the word God every three seconds while praying, the way I've heard other people use 'fucking'--as a placeholder (admittedly far more pleasant in the former than the latter, but kind of annoying, nonetheless) or the abysmal songs (as my mother calls them, 7-11 songs; seven words, fewer notes, repeated 11 times) aren't necessarily sacrifices, but they're things I'm willing to concede for good quality fellowship with 6 of my favourite people in the world (in order, Casey, Sas, Lori, Jason, Mike, Sam), and the greater POTENTIAL to grow in my personal relationship with God, and in my personal relationship with my best friends.
I, by no means, am, nor ever was, perfect in my responsibilities, but I never once lost faith in You. I may never find true comfort in a church building, but I have comfort in my faith, and in Your love. You give me strength when I am weak, You give me all I could ask for, and far more than I deserve, by default. I do the best I can to follow Your will, and to praise you at moment's notice. I find fellowship in places discounted by so many others. I turn to Your word, not often enough, but I want to work on that. You have given me so much in my life, and could easily not only take it away, but You could have never given it to me in the first place. You give me what I don't deserve, God, and I can do nothing but thank you and praise you for it. You help me through hard times, and, contrary to easier belief, I'm willing to open my eyes and heart and realise that Your help rarely comes in the form I could ever expect it. I love You, God, and lift my life, and my heart, my mind, and spirit to You. I'm sorry for where I've turned against Your will. I know I am forgiven, through the salvation of your Son, and You Yourself, in Jesus Christ. Thank You.
Amen.
My fellowship lies within all of you--all my friends who will sit down with me and speak, openly about our beliefs in God, our relationships with God; those who pray for me, and I pray for, each night. Even if the sermon, itself doesn't reach me in the way it's intended, I find my grace, I find my joy, with all of you. Don't worry about me for eternity. If you're uncertain of where I'll be when I die, you've only asked me the wrong questions.
For those of you who don't believe, for those who have been alienated, turned off, or even just plain pissed off by religion, church, and the members thereof, don't judge me for being a follower of God, any more than you want me to judge you for not being one. I don't care if it's in jest, it's not kosher. I'm open to discussion, but for you to discount my ideas and beliefs, then ask me to understand and sympathise with your point of view is simply hypocritical. Don't think me a wishy-washy, middle of the road Christian ("one of the good ones") who will really just go and say and do anything, but try to maintain a guise of humility and religion. I AM a Christian, I AM A FOLLOWER OF CHRIST. Don't mistake that. I have my own point of view, but I WILL stand up for what I believe, and will not put up, any further, with attacks on my beliefs or my character, due to said beliefs. If you want to know what they are, just ask. If you think I'm something else, you've asked the wrong questions, too.
End of line. |
| | Posted 1/16/2006 2:52 AM - 7 Views - 0 eProps - 0 comments
- recommend
  - recs0
- share
- email
 - sent0
|
